Just a phase im going through
by janelle clark
Summary: The children in the family are going through some phases. Reese is going through a well...ghetto fab stage, Malcolm has developed an obsession with japanese playing cards and Dewey thinks hes harry potter. Whatever will Lois do?
1. Abc as easy as 123

"No you can't add A and B."

"No, Reese...No 7 times 6 is 42 not 46..."

"Are you even TRYING Reese?"

The trials and tribulations of being a tutor. Camille shook her head in frustration.

"Reese...I can't help you if you don't try."

"I am trying. It's not my fault that some idiot came up with math. I mean we could go without math in this world. There's no use for it I tell you! You know what I think? I think that the school district just made it up to make us miserable. Yeah that's it…!" Reese raved.

"Okay, I'd like to see you go to the store and buy something without math." Camille pointed out.

Reese looked Camille in her hazel-green eyes, turned away and said in an audible whisper, "Dork."

"I heard that." Camille said, glaring at Reese.

"Let's get back to work..." She sighed, ready for another hour of trying to teach the impossible.

About a half hour of Camille explaining and Reese complaining went by.

"Can we take a break now?" Reese whined.

"Fine...FINE!" Camille screamed, frustrated.

Camille got up out the chair and walked to the window in the back of the empty classroom. She looked out at the guys playing on the school's basketball court. She walked over to the teacher's desk and sat atop it. She noticed Reese staring at her so she made a face at him.

"What? I wasn't staring at your boobs!" Reese said, lying.

Camille shook her head but had a smile on her face. Although Reese wasn't very smart and he could be very rude at times, she still had the slightest crush on him. Maybe it was the way he made that cute face when he was confused...which was most of the time. But other than that, Camille had a hard time picturing herself with Reese. Those rude times could turn embarrassing. Camille shook the thought out of her head. It wasn't as if Reese would be interested in her anyways. Or so she thought...Reese got up and stood next to her. Camille, a little scared, asked, "What?" For a split second she lost her head and leaned her face toward his as he did the same. Their lips were about a centimeter apart when someone burst through the classroom door.

"Malcolm...do you have...the...anama...tronica...tron...card? " Malcolm's friend Stevie asked excitedly between breaths. Malcolm spread all his playing cards on the ground.

"No but i do have Dilimatronicon." Malcolm replied.

"I'll trade you you're Dilimatronicon card for my Kakawakiwakitron card." Malcolm's other friend, Dabney offered.

"No way." Stated Malcolm. "Everybody has that card!"

Dabney looked over at Stevie.

"Don't….even…..think….about it." Stevie said, holding his card to his chest.

"What are you doing?" Susie (a girl from another class), asked when she noticed them.

Stevie looked up at the girl and exclaimed "None….of….your….business."

She looked over Stevie's shoulder, saw the cards and said, "Oh you're playing with Monsteratron cards…."

Susie took a look at all the cards, and sighed.

"Nice collection you've got there, Malcolm."

"Thanks." Malcolm said suspiciously.

"But….not as good as mine…" She teased.

"YOU play Monsteratron?" Dabney asked surprised.

"Duh, doesn't everyone? " She scoffed. "And I bet none of you guys has this card." She said, pulling a card in plastic covering out of her pocket.

"That's…a…a…Kerm…atron…card!" Stevie said pulling out his inhaler.

"Yup…the rarest card in the series…" She bragged.

"You know…its worth about twice as much as all your collections put together." She said smiling evilly.

Suddenly Malcolm turned in a different direction and stared into nothingness.

"I have to have that card!" He said to an invisible person. "If I had that card the world would suddenly make sense!" Malcolm exclaimed to no one.

"Umm….who is he talking to?" Susie whispered staring at Malcolm.

"Oh don't worry he does it all the time." Dabney explained.

Malcolm stopped talking to the invisible person and turned back around.

"Susie, how did you manage to get that card!" He asked.

"Well…my father works for the printing company that prints the cards." She smirked.

"But how could WE get one?" Dabney asked rowdily.

"Well that's for you to figure out I guess!" Susie laughed and walked away.

"I HAVE to have that card…." Malcolm said again to the invisible person.

Dabney looked at Stevie. "Do you think Malcolm's getting mental help?" He asked.

"I sure….hope so." Stevie replied.


	2. R Dawg and Dewey Potter

Camille and Reese pulled apart to see the tall teenager in the doorway.

"Yo Camille! Girl you gotta get over here! Yoshawnda and Dominique are beatin each other down!" He exclaimed.

"Again! Oh my god why can't they just get along! But Jamal, I can't go right now im tutoring someone." Camille answered.

Jamal looked at Reese.

"Bring him wit chu! Cuz they tearin each other apart Dawg!"

Camille looked from Reese to Jamal.

"Um…Reese we're going to be moving our tutoring session to the basket ball courts okay?" Camille said.

"Oh I see! Cuz like maybe my brain doesn't work in this room?" Reese asked.

Jamal laughed. "Hey Camille home boy here is funny." "

"Or maybe just extremely stupid…" Camille said to herself.

Camille and Reese gathered up their books and ran with Jamal to the basketball courts. Sure enough, two girls were practically tearing each other apart on the courts.

"Dominique! Yoshawnda Stop!" Camille yelled.

She pulled the two girls apart and looked at each of them. Dominique's shirt was ripped and one of Yoshawnda's large hoop earrings was missing.

"Now whats goin on here?" Camille asked.

Meanwhile Reese just stood to the side watching. He was kind of disappointed that Camille had broke up the fight because in his mind, there was nothing better than a chick fight. Jamal and some of his friends were standing near Reese. Jamal looked over at him and said,  
"So yo Reese, when I walked in that room it looked like you and my home girl Camille were bout to start something if you know what im sayin.."

"We weren't bout to start something. We were about to makeout." Reese said blankly.

"Yo…dats what I…never mind…" Jamal said shaking his head.

"Man, whats up wit Camille and them dang Preps?" Another guy that was behind Reese questioned.  
This guy had on a thick black ski jacket and a black beanie on his head. His pants were sagging way low showing his striped boxers. The light of the sun gleamed off the earring in his ear.

"Yeah whats up wit dat?" said Reese not knowing what he was talking about. But then again…did Reese EVER know what he was talking about?

"Naw…naw man we mean you." Said the second guy.

"Yeah, like my homie Luis says…you're a prep, Dawg." Jamal said

"No im not!", Reese defended,

"Yeah that's what all the clean cut, Crusts off they sandwhich, sippin whole milk, homies say." Luis said starting to look aggravated.

Reese looked at the guys standing before him. They were all taller than him and looked tough. Sure he had been in many fights, but most of the time the person he was fighting with was much smaller than him. Reese was debating whether to run or tell them they could beat up Malcolm instead. Another boy in the group named Mardel spoke up.

"Ey yo Luis, step off him aight? He's coo I've seen him in detention a couple times. And anyways you just ready to bust a cap cuz you mad Camille don't want you."

The other guys in the group laughed so Reese joined in as well. Luis walked away sulkily. A girl with curly black hair that that had been watching Camille break up the fight, turned to Reese.  
"Don't worry bout Luis Fernandez. He just a hater." She smiled at him.

"I'm Jameka. You should hang with our crew sometime." She offered.

"Not in that gear!" Jamal exclaimed.

"Well that could be fixed. We could hook him up. We could hook him up." Jameka said smiling.

* * *

"Abra Cadabra!" Dewey yelled pointed a magic wand at the frog in his back yard. "Aww…darn. It didn't turn!" "Abra Cadabra!" He yelled again. "Abra Cadabra!" He repeated.

Reese came walking in the yard.

"What are you doing Dorky Potter?" He asked.

"Hes been doing that all afternoon." Malcolm explained, sitting in the corner of the yard typing on a lap top.

"I'm trying to turn this frog into candy." Dewey said between abra cadabras.

Reese ignored him and looked over at Malcolm.

"Hey where'd you get that from?" Reese asked about the lap top.

"Stevie let me borrow it because once I find this card we'll all be rich in approximately thirty years."

Reese, who wasn't listening anyway, made a grab for the computer.

"Let me see it." He said.

"No." Malcolm said closing the lap top and holding it tightly to his chest.

"Just let me see it dork!" Reese said.

Malcolm was about to hit back with an insult but then saw Reese closely for the first time since he walked into the yard. Malcolm looked down from the baggy pants, to the excessive chains, up to the wave cap on his head.  
"Reese….what are you wearing?" Malcolm asked, looking at Reese strangely.

"You got a problem wit my gear G?" Reese asked aggressively.

"It's not a problem that you look like you just walked out of a low budget rap video." Malcolm said.

"Don't hate! Don't hate! You wanna take this outside cuz?" Reese exclaimed.

"Umm Reese…hate to break this to you, but we ARE outside." Malcolm stated.

"B-otch!" Reese yelled.

Lois walked outside just as Reese put Malcolm in a head lock.

"Reese! Let go of your brother! Dewey! Get that creature out my house!" She yelled.

"Awww! But mom I AM out the house!" Dewey whined.

"DEWEY….." Lois started.

"Okay…"Dewey said sadly.

As Dewey walked out of the yard holding the frog, Reese was still hitting a squirming Malcolm.

"Reese I said let him go!" Lois bellowed.

Reese let go of Malcolm who was glaring at him.

"Boys! What did I tell you guys about fighting! If see more fighting I'm going to have to cancel Christmas again!"

"But mo-" Reese whined.  
"

Don't but mom me! Now both of you get your butts to your room!" She screamed pointing to the house.

"But mom I didn't even do anything!" Malcolm complained.

"Do you guys think that I LIKE yelling at you?" She yelled.

"Yes." Reese answered.

Malcolm kicked Reese in the shins just as Lois covered her face with her hands.

"Hey! What was that for!" Reese yelled.

Lois sighed and yelled "INSIDE!"

Malcolm and Reese started to walk sulkily into the house when Lois stopped them.

"Wait-Reese….what are you wearing?" Lois asked.

"Clothes." He replied.

"Well you look ridiculous, go change." She said flatly.

"But Mo-" Reese started.

"GO….CHANGE!"

Malcolm and Reese jumped at her intensity and hurried inside.


	3. Flying, kisses and the kermatron card

Camille hurried down the street to Reese's house. She had an appointment after school therefore it would be easier for her to tutor him at his house later that evening. His mom said that it was okay because Reese needed as much help as he could get. She looked at the piece of paper that she had written the address that Reese's little brother Malcolm had given her. (Reese couldn't remember the address) She finally got to the right house. She looked up and gasped. There was a little boy on the roof holding a broomstick. She ran up to the door and knocked intensely on the door.

"Oh hello you must be Camille." Lois said when she opened the door.

"Hello but excuse me, I think you would like to know that there is a little boy on your roof." Camille said quickly.

Lois gave her a confused look then yelled, "DEWEY!"  
Lois stormed out of the house and stood at the edge of the house yelling at Dewey to get off the roof.

"But I was just practicing flying!" Camille could hear Dewey explaining.

She stood in the doorway debating whether to go in or not. She decided to go in because Dewey didn't seem keen to come down anytime soon. She walked in to see a boy with big blue eyes sitting on the couch with a lap top. She assumed this was Reese's younger brother Malcolm.

"Umm…hi. Did you know that you're little brother is on the roof?" She asked.

Malcolm's jaw dropped and he turned away from her.

"Just when it seems my family is a tad bit normal something insane happens!" He said to the air in front of him. Camille stared at Malcolm in confusion.

"Oh don't mind my stupid brother-I mean my blood." Reese said coming out of a room.  
"He does it all the time. I think all genius dorks like him have a screw or two loose."

Camille was still kind of confused but she just walked into the kitchen with Reese and set her books down.

"Oh hey Camille before we start this crap you want to break a few windows with me?"  
Camille stared at him. "Um…no? We have to get to work."

"Come on! It will be fun! I mean-It will be off the hook yo!" Reese said trying to convince her.

"The answer is still no Reese." She said, starting to get annoyed.

"Fine, you're no fun."

They sat down to the table to work. In the distance she could still hear Lois screaming at Dewey to get off the roof. ("Don't make me go up there!")

"So Reese do you understand that A+BC?" Camille asked.

"No. That's so stupid. Why do you add letters? Isn't that why we have numbers? I don't even think we should have numbers! Dude that is so wrong-I mean….Dawg that's so cold."

Camille shook her head sternly even though she wanted to laugh. He was so cute when he acted dumb. Well actually….he didn't act dumb. He WAS dumb. No no she thought, he's just….misunderstood. She looked him in his eyes and again lost her head. She leaned in for a kiss just as they heard a crash outside the house. They both pulled away and ran to the window. Dewey was on the ground outside cradling his left arm.

"I did it! I did it! I flew!" Dewey yelled through tears.

Lois was shaking her head exasperatedly.

"Dewey I TOLD you that you would fall off!" Lois yelled.

"I didn't fall! I flew!" Dewey kept saying excitedly.

Lois helped Dewey up and called to Reese.

"Reese I'm taking Dewey to the emergency room. I think his arm is broken. Tell your father when he comes home!"

"Okay!" Reese called out although he had no idea what she had said.   
Immediately after he answered his mother he and Camille started a zealous make out session.  
Malcolm walked into the kitchen unbeknownst of the two teenagers kissing fervently by the window. Malcolm sat at the kitchen table reading the screen of the lab top.

"The Kermatron Card!" He yelled out loud. "I've found it! The Kermatron card! Only…nine hundred dollars…." Malcolm laughed an insane laugh and jumped up and down. "Yes yes yes! Reese! Hey Reese!" Malcolm yelled.

Reese answered with a "hmmm…" but not stopping the kiss.

"Where's moms credit card?" Malcolm asked.

Reese let go of Camille, who fell to the floor with a loud thump. Reese had one of his evil grins on his face.

"And now why would dear little Malcolm want mom's credit card?"

"I HAVE to have that card!" Malcolm raved.

"Yeah but what for?" Reese asked.

"Because if I have that card the world will be a better place." Malcolm said.

"What? Are you going to use the credit card to buy poor kids?" Reese asked.

"No im using the credit card to buy the card!" Malcolm yelled.

"But why would you have to buy the card if you already have it?" Reese asked.

"I DON'T have the card that's the thing!" Malcolm said.

"But if I tell you where it is you WILL have the card and you wont have to buy it so you don't need the card anyways." Reese explained.

"What? You have a Kermatron card!" Malcolm screamed.

"No! only dorks play with those." Reese answered.

"Then what were you talking about?" Malcolm asked.

"What were YOU talking about?" Reese asked.

Malcolm and Reese stared at each other while Camille pulled herself off the floor.

"Anyways, Moms credit card is…wait…what will you do for ME if I tell you where the card is? Reese asked.

"Well…I won't tell her that you were making out in the kitchen while she was gone." Malcolm said grinning.

"Damn it!" Reese burst. "Fine its in her blue purse. Second to the right in her closet."

Malcolm turned to walk away but turned back around.

"Hey…how do YOU know where it is?" He asked curiously.

Reese smirked. "I've had to make a few purchases of my own along the way."

"Oh" Malcolm answered.

He was about to leave the room but then he turned around with an equally evil smirk. 

"Oh and Reese? You owe me one for not telling mom about you using the card."

Reese, thinking he had it made replied. "No I don't, because if you tell mom about ME using the card I'll tell her that YOU used her card too." 

"No you wont Reese." Malcolm said.

"And why wouldn't I?" Reese asked.

"Because if you did, I'd tell her you were making out in the kitchen. Or did you forget about it after you dropped your girlfriend on the floor?." 

Reese turned around and looked at Camille who said, "I'm not his girlfriend!"

"Damn it Malcolm!" Reese said, pouting.

Malcolm just turned around to his invisible audience and said, "Ha for once I get Reese!"  
He turned back and looked at his brother glaring at him wrathfully and quickly turned back to his nonexistent listeners, cringing.  
"When you're raving in glory should you also be terrified?"

After Camille went home and Malcolm's purchase was made, he and Reese sat on the couch watching 106 and Park on B.E.

"Can we change the channel Reese? I don't really like Snoop Dogg that much." Malcolm asked.

"No, shut up dork." Reese answered.

Right then their father, Hal walked through the front door.

"Hi boys." Hal said.

"Hey Dad." Malcolm answered.

"Sup Daddy yo?" Reese replied.

Hal walked to his bedroom and put his things down. He noticed that the house was unusually quiet.

"Hey where's your mom and Dewey?" He asked.

"I don't know." Malcolm and Reese answered with their eyes still glued to the tv screen.

"Hmm that's weird, I wonder where they are?" Hal thought aloud.

"Oh wait!" Reese said. " Now that I think of it, mom said something about them going to the emergency room." Reese said, not even bothering to turn and look at his father.

"The emergency room! WHY WHAT HAPPENED?" Hal yelled alarmed.

"Oh nothing. Dewey just fell off the roof that's all." Reese said.

"That's ALL? Dewey JUST fell off the ROOF!" Hal paced around in a circle.

"Well is he okay?" he asked.

"I don't know. Now Dad can you be quiet? We're watching T.v."


	4. Rapping the party

Hey you guys long time no update right? Sorry im really happy with all the good reviews i got so i decided to write some more. Im definately gonna write more so thanks you guys for inspiring me!

"So you wanna go?" Camille said into the phone while lying on her bed.

"Yeah sure! It sounds like fun. Will there be hot girls there?" Reese said while staring into the mirror in his room.

"Reese!" Camille exclaimed, surprised.

"What?"

"I was thinking that we'd...you know….."

"I do?" Reese asked, confused.

"I mean, I thought we could go to the party as….as a couple." Camille said nervously while twirling the phone cord with her finger.

"A couple of what?" said Reese as he smiled at his reflection.

Camille sighed. Maybe she was making a mistake. Reese wasn't really the type of guy she usually went for...but he was just so so cute!

"Well do you want to go to the party with me or not?" Camille asked, frustrated.

"Yea sure. Hey can you pick me up? Im kinda grounded so borrowing the ride from the rents isnt an option." Reese said loudly.

"Um….sure. I'll see you in a little bit" Camille said.

"Bye!" Reese said, hanging up the fone.

Camille sat listening to the dial tone wondering what she just got herself into.

* * *

"Hal?" Lois called holding a bill in her hand. 

"Yes honey?" Hal said coming through the door while tying his tie.

"Did you buy a Kerma kerma...something with my credit card?" Lois asked puzzled

"No, I don't think I've ever used it." Hal said going back into the bathroom to comb his hair

"But it's a bill for nine hundred dollars…surely none of the kids….." Lois trailed off.

"REESE!" Both parents called with fury in their eyes.

But Reese was not close enough to hear the screams of his parents. He was out partying.

"Wanna make out?" Reese asked grabbing Camille around the waist.

"Not now…."Camille answered, nervously watching all her friends stare at him.

"Dude, you're no fun." Reese whined, pouting.

Camille, not sure that she had done the right thing by inviting him to the party, walked away to the bathroom.

"I'll be right back." She told him.

"Where are you going?" Reese asked.

"I'll….be….right….back…." Camille said, frustrated.

Luis, having seen the whole scene walked up to him. Reese, having at least a TINY bit of common sense knew that Luis didn't like him. He tensed as Luis came near him.

"So ey R dogg..." Luis said looking evil.

"What? What? You wanna start somethin? No no no! I don't think so! What what what what!" Reese exclaimed, jumping up and down from side to side.

Luis looked at him peculiarly and looked around to see that a few people were staring.

"Hey man….itz aight…calm down…calm down!" Luis said.

"Dats what I thought." Reese said, unsure of himself.

"So, I see you're having some problems with the woman."

"Naw, naw she's just…..I don't know."

"Well Reese, I know just how to fix that." Luis said with his eyes gleaming.

* * *

"You don't know that Reese did it." Hal said. 

"Well Dewey's too young to do it, and I'm sure it wasn't Malcolm…." Lois exclaimed but then thought. "Maybe I should test him though…"

* * *

The Dj stopped the music just as Camille walked out of the bathroom. She decided she would apologize to Reese because he deserve her giving him attitude. She looked up to see why the Dj had cut the music and her heart stopped. Reese and Luis were up on the stage. 

"Hey yo, this is my homie R dogg and he has this girl that he wants to dedicate this freestyle rap to." Luis announced.

Camille sighed. "Oh no…." As the crowd of teenagers quieted down.

Camille wondered if she could sneak out the room without anyone noticing as the beat began to play and Reese belted out his rap…

"Hey yo theres no fog but this is R dogg  
I may not be smart but I really can fart  
Out a song about my girl  
She really gives me a whirl  
She really really hot  
But Anna Nicole is really really not  
When we make out its like man nothin rhymes with out  
At least no words in my vocabulary  
But anyways, I really wanna touch her tonite  
So maybe then she'll stop tryin to fight  
And stop being such a bitch  
Man this sweater is starting to itch"


	5. You can take my freedom but you can neve...

Camille dragged the fumbling Reese to the front door of his house.

"Reese, Reese really! DONT GRAB THOSE REESE!" Camille whispered, frustrated.

"But they're so peeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdyyyyy." Reese said, knocking over a flower pot.

"God, Reese you drank WAAAAY to much!" Camille said setting the pot right side up.

"Fwhut are you twalking aboot ! I only had like...like...like...oh dude im gonna hurl!" Reese mumbled, running to the nearest bush.

"CRAP!" Camille swore to herself as she noticed the light go on in the front room. She tried to grab the drunken teenager behind a bush before the front door opened.

Reese pulled back yelling in an irish accent, "You can take my freedom but you can never take my freedoooooooom!"

Camille took a deep breath as she prepared for the surprised gasp of a furious parent. But insted she didnt hear anything. She looked up slowly and just saw the silhouette of a teenage boy standing in the doorway shaking his head.

"Reese...what you'll have to do to keep me from telling Mom this one..." Malcolm said grinning.

"You can take my freedom but you can never take my freeeedoommmmm?" Reese moaned pathetically.

"Ummm...Matthew...or umm...Malaki? Ummm sorry whatever your name is can you help me out here?" Camille said with Reese leaning on her shoulder.

"Its Malcolm."

"Yeah, you! Well are you gonna just stand there or help me out?" Camille whispered earnestly.

They started to drag him into the house but he kept screaming nonsense so they sealed his mouth up with duct tape. They carried Reese into the boys bedroom and layed him in the bed where he eventually passed out.

Camille colapsed into a chair in the side of the room and sighed.  
"Dude, remind me to never take Reese to a party EVER again!"

"Yeah I WILL! I can't believe we actually got him in here without waking up my parents!"

Camille quietly giggled and closed her eyes.

Malcolm turned to the wall and said excitedly ,"Wow, did anyone else just notice that I have a gorgeous girl in my bedroom in the middle of the night!"

At first Camille turned in surprise but remembered Reese telling her about his brother's "problem". She giggled at the absurdity of it. 

"What's so funny?" Malcolm asked turning back to her.

"Ummm...Reese! He's hella drunk!" She said saying the first thing that came to her mind.

Malcolm snickered "Yeah, he is...I'm getting him back good for this one!"

Camille looked over her shoulder at the sleeping Reese and noticed a shiny retangular card on the desk. She curiously picked it up and looked at the explicit design of a dragon type animal on the back.

"Hey whats this?" She asked.

Malcolm jumped up in surprise.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT TOUCH THAT! ITS THE PRECIOUS ALL MOST ULTIMATE KERMATRON CARD! NOO YOU'LL GET FINGER PRINTS ON IT!"

"Sorry! I did'nt know it was that important to you! Be quiet you're going to wake your-"

"MALCOLM, REESE WHAT ARE YOU DOING SCREAMING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, WAKE ALL THE NEIGHBORS! AND WHO WILL THEY BLAME? ME! ME FOR RAISING THESE WILD CHILDREN!I CANT DEAL WITH THIS..."

The voice of Malcolm's mother came closer, closer, closer...

"Here under here!" Malcolm whispered shoving Camille under his bed. He jumped into the bed, which caused a small "OOMPH!" from Camille.

The door slammed open.

"What is your problem!" Lois barreled.

"Shh! Mom! What are you trying to do? Wake up the entire neighborhood?" Malcolm dared.

Luckilly Lois was too tired to argue so she just turned around and went back to her room for a good nights sleep.

Malcolm got out of bed and crept to the door and closed it quietly.

"Okay, you can come out now!" Malcolm whispered to Camille.

"That was close! I better go!" Camille said hastilly.

"NO!" Malcolm started. "I mean...no, wait until you're sure she's asleep."

"Oh, you're right! Yeah it would be wise to wait awhile..."

Camile sat herself on the floor next to Reese's bed. Malcolm sat down next to her.

He turned away from her and whispered to the air...  
"SCORE!"


End file.
